On the 28th of march, 1030pm.
I received a call that made the worst moment of my life so far.
The moment that I do not want to accept is finally here.
First time, thank God she went through it.
This time, the 2nd time, I guess she cant bare it anymore.
The moment I heard about the news.
I force myself not to cry.
Cause I know, if I started it, its hard for me to stop.
I start doing many things to distract my attention from the news.
The moment I reached Malacca.
When I saw her body lying in the coffin.
I can't control myself anymore.
Tears flow down unknowingly, its hard for me to stop.
With my dad crying even worst, it makes me harder to stop.
It was a Buddhist funeral.
Therefore it last for 5 days.
Everyday, me and my cousins will be busying serving the guest.
At night, me, my sis and my malay cousins were even busier.
Cause my chinese cousins are busying chanting.
Because of the busyness,it makes me forget for a moment on the sadness I felt.
On the burial day,
All of us started to cry again.
Especially when the undertaker need to close the coffin.
We will never get to see her face anymore.
Then she was brought to the cemetery and was buried.
Sadly.
I will never ever get to
See her.
Hug her.
Kiss her.
anymore.
Every night, when I go to bed, I will thought of her.
Every time, when I look at the picture of her, my tears will start to flow unknowingly.
There will be no one never missed to buy me a pyjamas every cny.
There will be no one buying sandals and slippers for me anytime.
There will be no one never fails asking me to study hard all the time.
There will be no one always asking me what would I like to eat and cook for me no matter what.
There will be no one cooking pure Peranakan dish for me to eat anymore.
I will never get to dail 065292358 anymore.
There are many many more things that cant be done anymore.
Anyway.
I thank God for the Love and Care that she gave me ever since I was born.
And when I was taken care by her when I was young.
I'm proud to be known as "cucu popo".
And I always will be.
She has a special place in my heart.
Absolutely no one can replace that place.
Dear God,
Please be with her up there.
And please make sure that she is happy.
I promise that I will go on with my life and try not to be sad anymore.
Amen.
Rest in Peace, "popo".
I do cherish what was.
But honestly, I do have regrets.;(
